It was really hard for me once i made up my mind that i would not come for one of my bestfriend's wedding day this weekend. Yes, her special day.
And on 4th December, is also an important day for most of my friends coz we have a special reunion for our SPM 2002 Batch on that night.
We have planned the reunion last september when my friends and I had a memorable conversation at Restoran Pantai, Pitas. The idea came up when we realized that we miss our ex-teachers a lot and this effort is actually trying to celebrate them. Just a simple thank you by having this mini reunion. (Eventhough i know that this effort could never repay their good deeds to us).
And a good friend of mine, Salmiah will get married on 5th Dec and i knew about it early when our friendship begins this year. Even if she did not invite me to come, i think i would remind her to do so.
Now, it is no more about breaking the promises, but it is all about PRIORITY.
That, myself, me and I need to pick up the calling from my jemaah.
That, I consider it as a big mission of mine.
That, whatever programs come to me, whatever efforts i have put into it, how fantastic our plans, when this comes to me, I have to forget all the programs (the great reunion and my friend's wedding). Everything would be the second and next list, but not for Tarbiyyah. It's a never-ending sacrifice and now i am chosen!
Because, i know that in order to gain people's love. Yes it would come naturally BUT let's turn your heart to Allah first. Now, i do this because of Allah. I hope Allah will help me, to let my friends happy with my decision. To allow their program will get your bless without my presence there. To make our friendship more meaningful and blissful.
I have a great faith that, without me being there, they would be okay coz this friend of theirs is doing the best for Allah, for Islam, for this greater and precious friendship. I hope my decision will not just bring in happiness to me, but all of you will get more delighted than what i feel.
My refuse not to come is not because i do not care about our friendship, THAT IS NOT the acceptable fact.
But, I hope you will accept this,
That, i love you. When i love you, i would ask from Allah to give the best care for you guys..
I also feel very guilty being not getting together with you. I do not have better words to describe my feelings. I do not have that power.
Therefore,
I AM REALLY SORRY..
I would really afraid if i do not come for the Tarbiyyah, i would regret for such a long time. I would in depress.
You get mad at me, it's okay as long as i am very sure that Allah will always with me, pleading and counting my tears here.. please comprehend my decision. I am very hurt with i am doing against you. and i now lay this to Allah. But i believe, i would never regret to do so. InshaAllah
P/S : To Salmiah Dawang, congratulations! I pray the best for your happiness for the rest of your life.
To Siti Rokiah and our beloved fellow friends... it does not mean getting together is the best moment EVER.. sometimes we need to appreciate and value this friendship in the midst of hardship of striving for Allah LOVE.. We value friendship when you do something for the sake of Islam.. and i realized now how precious our friendship is. The feeling that i would never experienced before this!
